Australia

I have a flight to Melbourne early in the morning. Lisa drops me at the airport. I hate goodbyes so bite my lip and disappear as quickly as possible. I don't want to think about leaving her in this foreign country, and her not being in London when I eventually get back there. The thought of London without her is just too much. I'm thinking about joining her in Australia for a while...

Ive never been to Melbourne, Conor is collecting me from the airport. Conor was at school with me and Ive known him for about 25 years. He was officially my first boyfriend, and I was taken to Abingdon fair by him when I was 13 years old, after he asked me in front of everyone, having saved a seat for me during morning assembly. We held hands, but never kissed. Hes now 6 foot 5 and a very successful business man. I'm whisked off straight away to have lunch with another old school friend Tamas. Both boys have emigrated to Melbourne. Tamas is married to Jo and has a baby called Zoe. I'm treated to some bay bugs (crayfish things). It's very humbling being back with these two boys from my childhood. They are very special to me. I spend a hilarious week with Conor. Some great dinners and great company. Soulfood cafe, incredible vegetarian. Gingerboy - fabulous Asian fusion see menu below. Meet some very nice friends of his, especially Yara. Very funny! We end up going out for dinner to a veggie place where you pay what you think your dinner is worth. I decide to cook dinner for some friends of Conor's, Mark and Caddie. Right at the last minute they can't get a babysitter. So I semi cook dinner at Conor's. Then pack it all up in Tupperware and head over to theirs to finish cooking there. Borscht beetroot soup with crusty bread, followed by organic beef fillet (bought from Tom the butcher) with a garlicky green salad, then chewy chocolate brownies to finish. Conor and I fall home merrily. Conor has a trip to Europe planned with weddings etc. And he's meeting up with his beloved, whom obviously he needs to impress. He needs some help shopping. My favorite hobby. We head to South Yarra and shop till we drop (drop into a bar for a fat glass of Australian shiraz, yum). As a thank you for my eye and my help Conor treats me to a bottle of expensive scent. Cant remember if I ever said? But the Birthday box of things mum sent me in Rio, which never arrived. I mourned the loss of my Helmut Lang perfume, which is irreplaceable. Finally turned up back in Brussels two months later! I think it went on it's very own adventure. But I digress, I have been without a scent till now. I spray myself at every possible occasion.

I'm so far behind in my blog that I'm just going to run through my notes quickly:

Melbourne and Sydney are like two sisters at a party. Sydney's the one you'd like to fuck, Melbourne the one you'd like to talk to.

Conor weeing on his neighbour accidentally over the balcony.

Conor is so cool (Conor's contribution to my notes).

She's got a great face for radio.

A schnick schnock of whoo wha (gram of coke).

Putain des Palaces - my new scent!

Literally, tremendous, indeed - all words which are banned whilst in Conor's company.

She's very striking, she's been struck a few times.

cheaters.com - hideous car smash American TV about partners being caught cheating.

Liam - the lovely architect, and lunch at the Porsche Garage in town.

The cinema night, 'Married Life' = no thanks!

The winery lunch, Conor lets me drive back.

I climb up that tower with cool views and a gold plated top.

Meeting Angie for the briefest girly chat ever in the history of chats. We get everything in, in 1.5 hours. And we didn't even know each other before.

Zoe in hospital - she was so poorly I hope she's much better now xxx

The revelation from home on my last night in Melbourne. Not good. And I break my camera.

Menu at Gingerboy:

Chili salt cuttlefish
Green papaya salad
Son in law eggs
Tempura oysters with pink nam pla
Silken tofu with black vinegar sauce
Lamb backstrap
Hot and sour salad with peanut sauce
King-fish lemon grass curry

Amazing! Delicious and worth a visit.

Loved Melbourne, I leave in a whirlwind of emotion bound for Hong Kong.

xxxxxx

I have a 4pm flight from Nadi to Brisbane, then on to Sydney. Lisa A will be waiting for me at Sydney. I'm uber excited. I get to the airport and go through security. I have a few shells which Ive bought, and am worried about having them confiscated. I check my main backpack into the hold and take my day pack with shells through security. The shells pop up on the x-ray and I have to open my bag. I large Fijian security man paws through my bag, he check out the shells, they're OK for me to take. Then he stops at my bits and bobs travel case. This is a small toilet bag filled with things like my head torch, my jewelery, my sewing kit, some pens, my mini vibrator...The security guard pulls out my mini purple vibrator. "whats this?", he asks dead pan. Is he being serious?, I hesitate..."its a torch" i say equally dead pan. Quite by chance the vibrator doesn't have any battery in it. So he cant test it. He looks at it more closely, and I try not to smirk. Finally he seems satisfied (weird irony) and he puts it back in the bag and tells me I'm free to go. I zip everything up, and head into duty free. Flight to Oz is pretty unremarkable. Land in Brisbane or Bris-vegas as it's affectionately known. Have to go through stringent Aussie security, luckily they let the shells through, plus vibrator. Have an hour to kill before connecting flight to Sydney. I sit with Ipod and people watch, I seem to be surrounded by overweight men in board shorts and thongs. Beer belly hell. Board flight for Sydney. Arrive Sydney. Walk through to collect bags. Thinking I won't see Lisa until I get my main backpack, but then, as I'm waiting to get on escalator to head down into baggage claim, I spot Lisa! We then re enact a scene from Mills and Boon. We spot each other across a crowded room, and I try to push my way down the busy escalator. We both have tears in our eyes. ITS SOOOO GOOD TO SEE HER! We collect my bag and I'm treated to a taxi back to Bondi. Lisa has an amazing flat just off Bondi Beach. It's a home from home, shes simply transposed her fab flat from London straight into the heart of suburban Sydney (actually via shipping the entire contents of her London flat down-under, no mean achievement). I have my very own room with big double bed and a luxi super clean bathroom next door. Heaven. We spend all night yakking, till Lisa, bleary eyed and monstrously overworked, hears her bed calling and we head off for much needed sleep.

Hanging out in Bondi is very much like I imagine Malibu beach to have been in the 50s. It's super cool, but not garish and in your face. It has an innocence and charm about it. We become, well I become a regular at Gusto coffee where I feed my growing caffeine addiction. Long blacks with splash or hot or cold milk depending. A yummy brunch at 'Paris a Go', of homemade granola, yogurt and honey. Washed down with a fresh juice. I'm charmed. Lisa has taken some time off work to entertain me. All I really want is quality time doing nothing imparticular, but sharing company with my best friend. We're old pros at this, so slip into the norm without hesitation, and its feels totally normal to be darting around Sydney as if it were a home from home. We visit the New South Wales Gallery and do a bit of culture. I have unfortunately missed Sydney's World Youth day by only a few days. But luckily there are still plenty of youths floating around, singing in circles with guitars and tambourines. World Youth Day should actually have been called World Christian Youth Day. Sydney has just seen over 200000 youths from over the globe share what amounts to a big jamboree with the Pope headlining. Scary. Or as Ken from Hong Kong put it, 'World Youth Day, what a shit show!'. The few who still remain are easy to spot with their red, orange and yellow rucksacks.

My Birthday way back in April, still concerns Lisa. So in order to please her I am taken for a very expensive new hair cut. Such a chore! I leave the dressers with a brand new barnet, all coiffed and shapely (the first time in 7 months). Lisa has been lucky to receive the Haviannas I picked up for her in Sao Paulo. OK they're used, because mine got lost in Colombia, I tell her they're 'worn in'. Anna, Lisa's sister is also in Sydney, so we spend spend a nice Sunday walking over to Bronte for lunch. We spot a pod of dolphins frolicking in the bay. We also meet up with Kirsten, Claudine's very lovey friend from Uni. We hang out over at hers and eat the most incredible cakes from patisserie near her house. Architecture in the form of a cake. Although we're not being particularly lucky with the weather we decide to hire a car and drive to the Blue mountains. We haven't hired a car since Ibiza, back in the 20th Century (actually I think it was 2001, poetic licence). We have great day out. Lunch of fish and chips at a restaurant which hasn't changed since the 50's and has signed photos of Scott and Charlene on the wall, and possibly Rolf Harris (not confirmed). Then a brisk walk in to the canyons of the Blue Mountains to a beautiful waterfall. We have to run back because we realise that the parking ticket only gave us a couple of hours. We make it back without a ticket and head back into town for refreshment. We find a cosy cafe which seems to be run by a religious cult. Everyone is in Birkenstocks with cheese board tunics on, head scarfs and fat plaits. We discuss the merits of living in the cult having read about then on literature stuck outside the ladies loo, at the back. It all sounds quite good, until the bit about worshipping the chosen one and believing in 'Our Saviour'. We head back into town for the cinema and to watch The Dark Knight. Gregg has got us tickets and a big bag of sour worms. We settle in to watch. We have the car for 4 days so head up to the Northern Beaches for the day and then back for a walk in the Mountains. Leaving Sydney with the sun shining we head off back towards the mountains and then into the rain. We end up going on what amounts to 'a nice drive' ... We feel rather old and silly. But we both feel like that, so its OK and we laugh about it! We're in the middle of no where in the Australian outback and Lisa is navigating with Google maps on her new i-phone. I love our adventure. Ive missed Lisa so much since being away. A perfect week and a bit, with a perfect hostess.

The bliss of chilling out in a wonderful flat with all the mod cons you could desire, including wireless Power Book and Lisa's yoga DVD, is so appreciated.

Hair report: Louise Brooks

Delicious dinners at: North Bondi Italian, The Rum Diaries, Bills.
Lots of nice treats from Lisa (she knows how to treat a girl!)
Wardrobe envy back in force - Esther control yourself.
Buy some new bras from Pluto's of Bondi.
Visit another Chiropractor and am told I have an inflamed disc, nearly decide to come home.
Buy attractive back-brace.
Meet up with Olly, from Brazil (last seen at trance party in Trancoso), and have a boogie at 'Yu' in Kings Cross.
Lush balcony at Lisa's.
The light sabre application for the i-phone.
New neon pink Havaiannas.

LISA THANK YOU, GREGG THANK YOU! Mi casa et tu casa, basta.

Love you very much xxxx

ps Could I live in a place like this? xxxx